“Mum everyone was doing it, and I got
tired of not being part of the group, not being popular. I was all alone and it
felt so weird, so I had to join them”.
That was Tamara talking to her mum after the
medical test result was out. She has been sick for a while, so her mum decided
it was time to see a Doctor. The test result showed that Tamara had Syphilis,
an S.T.I (Sexually Transmitted infection).
Mrs Nina could not understand how her 15-year-old
daughter, who is just in Senior Secondary School, could have been caught up in
such a situation. She has done what she can as a mother to instill moral values
to her daughters, but with this, she wonders where she got it wrong. She hopes
to find a way, so her younger daughter, Annabel, does not fall into same or
similar issue.
Similarly, David has been home on holidays for 2
weeks, but he was unusually withdrawn, and upset at every little thing. Dad
also noticed that his muscles trembled sometimes, such that he can be seen visibly
shaking all over. Dad thought it was strange and took him to the Hospital.
After tests and interaction with the Doctor, Dad was informed that David was
having Drug withdrawal symptoms. Apparently, he has been into narcotic drugs
while in school, and since he could not get the drugs at home, the withdrawal
symptom surfaced.
When David was asked by his Dad why he indulged in
it, his response was, “Dad, the other guys in school bullied me and
made fun of me, called me a weakling and even forced me to do their assignments
with threats, I needed a way to toughen so I can fight back”.
David is 17 years old, and just got into 2nd year
in University. Dad could not imagine how his son fell into the deception that
narcotic drug was a source of Strength. Where did they go wrong with him?
Tamara and David are typical teenagers, facing the
varying challenges that come with the teen years.
The teen years, which comprises of
individuals aged 13 to 19 years, is a challenging and sensitive season of life.
It is a transition stage between childhood and Adulthood, within which
decisions and habits formed highly impacts the Adult life. It is also a season
where Parent-Child relationship is strained or strengthened, depending on how
it is handled.
It is marked by self-discovery and physical body
changes, hence most teenagers tie their sense of self-worth to their physical
outlook, gadget possession (phones, costly jewels), popularity among friends,
etc. Consequently, they become faced with varying challenges and pressures such
as bullying, depression leading to suicidal thoughts, under-age sex,
drinking, cyber addiction, low
self-esteem, etc., when they sense a lack in self-worth. These challenges are
usually rooted in these factors - the need for love, acceptance
and validation.
Tamara and David are both from Godly homes, but
never got to understand the need to own these Godly standards as theirs, rather
it was seen as parent’s standard. When the pressure of compromise came, they
had no strong footing to stand up for what they were taught to believe.
As a teenager that desires a great future, how do
you overcome this inevitable pressures that you face daily?
- You
need to submit your life to Christ and yield to discipline from older
Christians. The Bible says, “Whoever loves discipline loves
knowledge, but one who hates correction is stupid” Proverb 12:1.
- You
also need to understand that your identity as a Christian comes from God
and what He says about you in His word (the Bible), not from your physical
outlook or the opinion of your peers. The correction you receive that
points towards a Godly path may not always be comfortable but is rooted in
love, as the Bible says, “The one who
will not use the rod hates his son, but the one that loves him disciplines
him gently” Proverbs 13:24.
- Seek
to build a close relationship with God, remember that, Jesus, who is our
example, started participating in the temple at the age of twelve, so you
are not too young to hear from God and follow His leading.
It’s high time you stopped comparing yourself to pictures and posts you
see on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and other Social media
platforms, which are mostly mirages of life realities, to
measure your self-worth or success in life.
I want you to know this, in accordance with Psalms 139:14, “you
are fearfully and wonderfully made”. God loves you so much, to
let you remain the way you are; hence He has made Himself accessible to
you through Jesus Christ. He is enough to guide you to overcome every challenge
in this season of life and beyond, to become the Great Person He has destined
you to be. He has a good purpose for your life: The Bible says, For I know the
plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to
give you a future and a hope,” Jeremiah 29:11. There is
hope for your future, DON’T LET THE devil ROB YOU OF IT.!!!
A Word to Our Parents: Every Godly parents’
heart desire is that their teenagers in the family grow up to be Godly and
successful Adults. Hence, we take them to church, we place rules in the house,
we try to provide their needs, and some other things. As much as these steps
are encouraging and right, they cannot replace your building a close and unique
relationship with your Teenage daughter or son, which will give them the right
view about love, acceptance and validation.
We live in a time where we have high level of
Emotional instability among teenagers. Everyone seemed to be engrossed in the
Social-media life, hence most teenagers search for anything to fill up the
emptiness they feel within, and when it seems far-fetched, the consequences are
suicidal tendencies and other vices.
Being a season of self-discovery, mistakes are
bound to occur, hence they need to be guided firmly, yet in love. It’s a time a
parent needs to focus on building friendship with your
teen to develop trust, rather than talking down on them, to
enable them freely open up their deepest concerns to you.
Being overly critical will drive your teenager away
from you, and limits the chance for them to be open to you about their
struggles with life issues, and you may end up faced with escalated issues you
never anticipated. But if they sense your understanding and love while
correcting them, they’ll have no fear opening up to you. In Ephesians 6:2, the Bible
says, “Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the
training and instruction of the Lord.”
Therefore, while you set Godly standards, pray to
be a worthy example for them to come to the faith, and own the Standards as
theirs, so that a Godly Lifestyle will be based on their relationship with God,
not based on ‘family’ or ‘parent’ rules.
GOD BLESS YOU
Much Love From
Joan A.
(NB: Names, Incidents,
events, etc. are used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance
to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is
purely coincidental.)
Post a Comment