It was 7am on a cool wednesday morning. Dennis and felix were driving to their different offices and were both caught up in Traffic. While waiting for the light to go green, Dennis was distracted & so did not notice the change in Traffic Light, after about a minute, to Yellow; Felix who was running late for work turned on his ignition, and on the change to green, he moved speedily and !!!CRASH!!....He had hit Dennis who was still struggling to turn on the ignition of his car. And so both men came out of their cars, shouting and blaming each other for the accident. Dennis blamed Felix for being in a haste, Felix blamed Dennis for being a sluggish and Lazy driver. They were at a point causing traffic jam on the road, which led to both of them being taken to the Office of the Federal Road Safety Commission and they were....?.....we'll come to that.
This is just an example of how we get into the blame circle. When something Negative or undesirable happens, the natural human tendency is to push the responsibility of such to another person, especially things meriting censure.
It started in the garden of Eden when Man disobeyed God and fell. Here is a short tale of it: "Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”, He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”
"Who told you that you were naked?” the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?”
The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” ( God moved on to ask Eve)Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” “The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.” Genesis.3:9-13.
And so here was Adam blaming the woman, & God also for giving him a wife, while the woman (Eve) pushed the blame to the serpent.
The israelites after being saved from captivity, while passing through the wilderness, blamed Moses for their hardship. Here is what they said,"Why did you make us leave Egypt and bring us here to this terrible place? This land has no grain, no figs, no grapes, no pomegranates, and no water to drink!” Numbers. 20:5. One would have expected a bit of gratitude from people who had been given their freedom.
In our world Today, The blame circle continues...
In Schools, the unsuccessful student blames his failure on the inability of the teacher to teach and pass on knowledge, while the teacher blames the student for being unable to understand basic teachings or having a low I.Q (intelligence Quotient). Peharps if the teacher tried using a different teaching approach and the student pays more attention, success will be achieved for all.
At home, during a misunderstanding, the distraught wife blames the husband for being insensitive, unloving and uncaring, while the husband blames the wife for being touchy and disrespectful. will peace not be gained if both husband and wife apologise to each other?
At the work place, when there is a lag in meeting set business target, the boss blames the worker for being lazy, the workers blame the boss for being uptight. Will Productivity and profit not be maximized, if both the workers and the boss worked as a team?
There are so many instances where we may find ourselves in the blame circle, but the truth remains that no matter how justifiable your blame maybe, it does not exempt you from possible consequencies attached, even when you had the minutest input to it. This also robs you of inner peace.
In Genesis 3:14, the serpent was cursed, but God also meted out punishment for both Adam and Eve . To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.” Then to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it’; Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life. Genesis.3:16-17.
The universal law of cause and effect states that for every effect, there is a definite cause likewise for every cause there is a definite effect; your thoughts, behaviour and actions create specific effects that manifest and create your life as you know it.
To live peaceful and successful lives we need to move out of the blame circle, How?, by dealing with the root cause, which is our focus on immediate need of the moment, which in our minds, we expect the other person(s) to meet. Our exit from this peace-robbing circle starts from changing our thought-process, taking responsibility of our actions and seeking re-dress where necessary.
God's word directs us on how to handle our thought life to live peaceful and Successful lives. He says,‘‘And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.’’ Phillipians 4:23.
Now back to our story: In the Office of the FRSC, Dennis was fined for making calls while driving which distracted him, Felix was fined for overspeeding. They were also instructed to take care of damages done to each others' car.
So the next time you feel like passing a blame, stop and think, find out the most peaceful way out, and take necessary responsibility to achieve success.
Happy new year!!!
God bless you.